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Ariana Grande Talks All-Consuming Grief Over Mac Miller

11 July 2019

It is no secret that Ariana Grande was shattered when she learned about Mac Miller's death.

If you're passing a magazine stand at some point over the next month (yes, they still exist), prepare to be bewildered by Ariana Grande wearing a very large hat on the cover of the new Vogue. She says they met after her friends convinced her to move to NY for a summer. "We're gonna have a fun summer.' And then I met Pete, and it was an awesome distraction", she told Vogue. "I'm like an infant when it comes to real life and this old soul, been-around-the-block-a-million-times artist", she explained.

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She continues, "I've been boo'd up (coupled up) my entire adult life. The pieces just started to float away" she said. In fact, the two got engaged in June 2018, but their relationship came to an end shortly after Miller's death last fall. "It's fun, it's pop music, and I'm not trying to make it sound like anything that it's not, but these songs to me really do represent some heavy s-t". The video features Grande singing into the camera a brightly lit room, clad in a puffy ensemble recalling the style of late-'90s music videos in the stylistic wheelhouse of Hype Williams; there are also moments where her feet and ponytail become disembodied and take on a life of their own.

Grande told Vogue: "People don't see any of the real stuff that happens, so they are loud about what they think happened". I've always had someone to say goodnight to.

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"I am not a babysitter or a mother and no woman should feel that they need to be", Grande continued, emphasising that she had "tried to support his sobriety" for many years.

Grande called her grief over Miller's passing - from an accidental overdose previous year - as 'pretty all-consuming. "I see myself onstage as this perfectly polished, great-at-my-job entertainer, and then in situations like this I'm just this little basket-case puddle of figuring it out", she said. "So Thank U, Next was this moment of self-realisation". Toulouse, a beagle-chihuahua mix that Grande adopted in fall of 2013, is a frequent companion of the singer, so much so that the he's made appearances in the music videos for her songs "No Tears Left to Cry", "Thank U, Next", and "7 Rings".

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She called the relationship "an awesome distraction" following events of the past few years, including the Manchester Arena bombing in 2017. "I'm not taking one of those corny breaks from social media where you're like, 'The internet hurts me, I'm leaving, goodbye.' But I've definitely established a new boundary". "I do this thing where sometimes I paint a different picture of someone that I either already know is not what I'm believing they are and I'm hoping that they are that, or I'm slowly learning that they're not what I had thought".

Ariana Grande Talks All-Consuming Grief Over Mac Miller